"why did you leave your cabin finally? what drove you out?"

she met my gaze squarely. "you remember that fellow up the hill? he tried to break in. i had my gun and i warned him, four, five times i shouted at him to get away from the door or i'd shoot. he shouted back that he'd never seen me fire that thing and he didn't think i knew how or that i had any bullets. and the way he was yelling, i knew that he wasn't just going to break in and take what he wanted. he was going to get rid of us, to be sure he could have all we had. so i shooed my kids behind me, and when he finally got the door chopped in, well, i fired. and i killed him. and then i packed up my children and what we could carry and we ran away from there." by the time she finished speaking, she was hunched over in her chair as if she expected me to strike her, wringing her hands together. she looked up at me from her cower. "so now you know," she said very softly. "i am what they accuse you of being. i murdered him. i'm telling you the truth, because i want you to know the truth before you decide if you'll help me or not."

i sat down heavily in my chair. "you can't stay here, amzil. it...it wouldn't be safe for you or for the children. i'm not even sure if i can stay here anymore."

she was silent for a time. then she said furiously, "it's because i killed him, isn't it? you think someone from dead town is going to come here and accuse me, and i'll hang and you'll be stuck with my children."

the way she said it told me far more than she'd planned. she'd intended me to be her hedge against that possible disaster. she'd intended to bring her children to me in the desperate hope that if she was found out and executed, i'd protect them. i tried to speak in a calming voice. "i'm flattered. no, i'm honored that you would think of bringing your children here. and it means a great deal to me that you would hear such stories about me and disbelieve them. there are not many in town or in the fort that would be willing to stand by me as you would. but i'm serious when i say that it wouldn't be safe here for you. feelings are running high. today, when i was ordered to leave town, i worried that i would be followed. i have no confidence that i won't be attacked tonight or burned out of this house. that was the kind of hatred i saw today. i can't take you in, amzil. i wish that i could."

"of course you do," she said with hard skepticism, and stood to leave.

i blocked her exit. sparks of anger came into her eyes, but i didn't move. i took the colonel's piece of silver from my pocket. "you take this," i began.

"you don't owe me anything," she hissed.

"i owe you what you offered me. the belief that i know you well enough to say that you didn't murder that man. you did what you had to do in defense of your children. now you take this coin, for the little ones. it will at least feed them tonight. get them out of sarla moggam's brothel. it's a foul place. take them to-" for a moment i hesitated, then i plunged on, "take them to lieutenant kester's house. ask around. someone will know where he lives. lieutenant spinrek kester. tell him the same thing you told me. that if he'll give you and the children a place to sleep, you'll help cook and clean and so on. tell his lady that you used to be a seamstress, and you want to make an honest living for yourself. she'll help you. she's like that."

she looked at the money that i'd pushed into her hand. then she looked up at me, confused. "do i tell them that you sent me? do i...do you want me to come back here sometimes? at night?"

"no," i said quickly, before i could be tempted by her offer. "no. you didn't offer me that, and i'm not asking for that. and don't tell them i sent you. tell them...no. tell him that you wish your whistle were shaped like an otter, that you've heard that whistles shaped like otters are lucky enough to save a man's life. but you only say that to him if no one else is around. do you understand me? it's important."

bewilderment flickered over her face. "so, you want me to make him think i'm daft, so he'll give us shelter out of pity?"

"no. no, amzil. it's just something he and i both know, something that will make him know it's important to help you as he was once helped."

"a whistle shaped like a beaver," she said carefully.

"no. an otter. a whistle shaped like an otter."

she closed her fist tight on the coin. then she said suddenly, "give me your trousers, at least."