Episode 82: Kill The Heroine

Helena’s surprised face shook. She hurriedly wiped away my tears with both hands, but the tear glands that began to burst once did not know how to subside. I moved my lips with great difficulty.

The trembling voice was so breathy and terribly small that Helena had to put her ears close to my lips to listen to me.

“..Say it.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you. Please say it one more time.”

“I want to live.... Tell me you want to live.”

Helena stood up silently and looked down at me. I grabbed her chest with trembling hands. She didn’t resist.

“Say you want to live.... Please.”

But I knew I couldn’t save her. I had already come too far, so I also knew that what I was saying now was just for my liking.

(QC/N: like, saying for the sake of saying it, for her own conscience.)

The sin of killing her, who wanted to live, would be condemned even if I spent the rest of my life hating and resenting myself.

“Lady Misérian. Do you know what?”

“..What?”

“I like the season between late spring and early summer, when the whole world turns green. It’s warm.. The sun sets late.”

Helena closed her eyes and shook for a moment as if imagining the sight that she liked.

“At that time when the wind isn’t too hot.. no matter where I turn my eyes, it’s just dazzling.”

After finishing the unknown words, she looked back at me. She stroked my hair as if she were seeing her younger sister after a long time. And then she said,

“You may not remember.... One summer day I already forgave you. And I vowed that day that I would be happy to understand whatever you do to me in the future.”

I thought Helena Antebellum was frustrating and stupid. I felt that it was because of her weakness that she did nothing wrong while being bullied by her Eris over and over again. Because she was ignorant and weak, she was afraid of retaliation and could not think of counterattacking.

It was a very arrogant and presumptuous idea.

“It’s okay. ‘Yes’ you told me this one day.”

If it was me, if I was Helena, I would be pleasantly avenged. I would have shamed her and completely trampled on her in front of everyone so that she could never treat me carelessly again.

Oh, I thought if I apologized, I would lose. I believed that revenge was ‘stronger’ because forgiveness would result in losses.

“Now it’s my turn to return it. It’s okay, Eris. Everything will be fine.”

“Ah, ah...! Ah!”

“So do what you want to do.”

Now I know. Helena was not holding back because she was weak. Rather, she was able to understand and embrace the pain and fear of weak people because she was stronger than anyone else. A weak wicked person could not survive without being parasitic on her kindness.

“Ah, ah... AHHHH! AHHHHHHHH!”

Oh, Helena. You are so dazzling that you save even low-quality humans like me.

I cried and screamed. I couldn’t stand the whole situation without screaming.

The dagger in my arms cut through Helena, and a beam of light poured out.

– Murderer.

said Eris.

I laid Helena on the bed as she was wet with blood. The knife given by the witch made Helena lose her breath without having to stab her several times.

No matter how soundproof this place was, even so, someone must have heard it because I screamed like that.

“Anything, ah-“

The young maid opened the door and screamed when she saw me.

The footsteps of people running gradually grew louder.

I agonised for a moment over a dagger in my hand. Should I hide this dagger to hand it over to the witch? But somehow the witch seemed to be able to retrieve this dagger wherever it was.

“What’s going on! Heuk....”

If that was the case, I would rather hold it to show that I killed her. The knight pushed in the child who collapsed and stopped breathing when he saw me. I looked at the knight quietly and opened my mouth.

“Say it to His Highness. I’m back.”

* * *

I was locked up in a solitary room where I had already come once before, being held by a knight. Fortunately, they didn’t search separately, perhaps because I was holding the knife that killed Helena in my hand. I still needed the mirror in my pocket.

How long had I been waiting, the urgent footsteps rang. In the blink of an eye, the crown prince took the key from the servant and opened the door roughly.

“You dare.. you dare..!”

“If Your Highness had come earlier, she might have been able to live..... Aren’t you such an irresponsible new groom?”

He raised his hand to slap me on the cheek, clenched his fist and trembled. The crown prince told me in a firm voice barely enduring the urge to kill.

“Why did you kill her?”

“I don’t want to say it. Just kill me now.”

“Why did you kill her?”

In the eyes of the crown prince who said such a thing, there was some expectation. Expectations?

You still don’t admit that I’m not Eris? I shook my head and laughed in vain.

“I told you, Eris will never come back. It wasn’t Eris who killed Helena.”

Expectations quickly turned into despair.

No, his beloved woman died in the first place, but I didn’t know why he reacted like that. Wasn’t it right to be sad or not be able to hold back more anger?

He rubbed his face with a miserable look and looked at me for a long time.

It seemed as if he believed that there would be a trace of Eris in me.

Funny. I would have been the one in this world who most wanted her soul to remain in Eris’ body. Then everything would have been easier.

The crown prince was sad about Eris’ absence, but it was not because he loved her. It was just.. It was close to the remnants of regret and disappointment when the object that was always next to him disappeared. Many people used to mistake possessive desire for love and become unhappy.

It didn’t matter that Alecto became unhappy because it was his karma, but it would be a different story if I was also involved in that unhappiness. I told him who never believed.

“If you can’t believe it, you can call the High Priest. The High Priests can see the soul of everyone, right? Even during that old witch hunt, he looked at the soul and distinguished it, so he can distinguish whether I’m lying or not.”

Since Hubris noticed at once that I was a stranger, perhaps the same went for other High Priests. No, Hubris would come from the start. He blessed me during the Coming-of-Age Ceremony, and anyway, he was one of the main characters in this novel.

To be honest, since I had a record of being disgraceful and mean to Hubris, I wanted him to accuse me of being a witch.

The interrogator, who interrogated me last time, stood close to the crown prince staring at me with a fierce face.

“What should I do? If you allow a little torture, I can make her confess the crime within a day.”

“....That’s nonsense.”

The crown prince turned his eyes and stared fiercely at the interrogator and said.

“Didn’t you notice that I gave her this room? No matter how much of a criminal she is, if you put a fingertip on her body, who was once a half imperial family, your life will be over.”

“G, God, Your Highness, I didn’t think much because I couldn’t wait for the judgement, goodness. Please forgive me.”

The interrogator who chased the crown prince leaving the room stared at me once, but I was not scared at all.

Anyway, it was good that there was no torture. I was not confident in enduring the pain. I couldn’t even die after biting my tongue, but there was nothing good about just being sick.

Was Anakin doing well? After taking a breath, Anakin naturally came to mind. I missed him, but it was Medea not Anakin who I could communicate with through the mirror in the pocket.

If that didn’t happen, I would be able to see Anakin at the execution table and in the crowd as scheduled.

Well, it was not ‘Where’s Wally’?[1]?and I had never been talented in finding hidden pictures, so I was going to ask Medea to meet him before I die. But what should I say to that face that will never be seen again?

The room was cold.. The problem wasn’t exactly with the room. I huddled up and prayed for the morning sun to rise quickly.

I thought I could see Hubris as soon as the day came, but the time was delayed a little because he had to go on a mission to a nearby area.

In this novel, it was not for no reason that the only High Priest that appeared was Hubris. This was because the author initially set the setting so that Helena could only meet with Hubris.

There were three high priests in the capital, except for the pope, but one of them went on a mission to another country and had not returned for a while, and the last one was elderly and was lying in bed.

Since the pope, who was in critical condition, was also refusing to be treated by divine power, everyone said in unison that Hubris would become the next pope as soon as possible.

Come to think of it, it seemed that it was possible for Hubris to commit a taboo to save Helena at the end of the novel because he became the pope unofficially.

Because the pope was given immunity.

It was because he was not in the capital city, so I hadn’t heard from him yet, but if he came to know Helena was dead, he would probably run over without stopping. When Helena was taught by me, she seemed quite close to Hubris when she sometimes talked about him.

Hubris came with the crown prince the next afternoon. It had been a while since I saw him, and he lost a little more weight. His decadent charm was overflowing so it was a little scary.

***

[1] Where’s Wally? is a British series of children’s puzzle books created by English illustrator Martin Handford. The books consist of a series of detailed double-page spread illustrations depicting dozens or more people doing a variety of amusing things at a given location.