"there's a little money for her care," paul said. "but i don't want to touch that while you're still thinking about it..."

"while i'm still thinking about it?" she asked, sitting forward a little. "paul, you've made up your mind, haven't you?"

he hated that-how she could read him before he even had a chance to open his stupid mouth and put his foot in it. he shrugged and said, "i've gotten to know her a little bit. and i don't want her to be all alone." he bounced her on his knee. "i'll work out the money thing. it's not critical yet. we'll be all right. business is fine."

"oh, paul," she said, and tears fell from her eyes. she blinked her eyes closed and shook her head. "why couldn't you have at least talked to me first?"

he looked down at hannah. "you would have said the sensible thing," he said. "the thing i should've been strong enough and smart enough to say. that this was a bad idea."

"and what would you have done then, paul? what would you do if i said that while we talk about this and think about this, she can't stay here?"

"as god is my witness, vanessa, i don't have the first idea."

paul unloaded the back of his truck while hannah sat in the playpen with mattie. at least there was no problem there-mattie was a real easygoing kid and he took to her instantly. vanessa stood guard in case there were any bad manners. paul set up the crib but left everything else to put away later. then he put hannah back in the car seat and drove into town, hoping to catch mel and cameron at the clinic before they left for the day.

it was not yet four o'clock, but when he walked into the clinic, he found mel talking with cameron while cameron was loading what looked like files into his satchel.

"hey," paul said.

"well now, who do we have here?" mel asked, coming out from behind the reception counter.

"remember that situation i had up in grants pass? before vanni agreed to marry me? the woman who said she was pregnant?" as it happened, he had gotten advice from both mel and cameron at the time.

"but i thought...?" mel shook her head, confused.

"yeah, i escaped that one," paul said. "meet hannah, terri bradford's baby. terri was killed in a car accident a couple of weeks ago and it turns out she named me as hannah's guardian, though i'm not her biological father. i just found out this morning. and brought her home."

"whoa," cameron said.

"good god," mel added.

"i have her medical records and she seems perfectly healthy," paul said. "cam, would you mind taking a look to be sure? for our peace of mind? we don't want to suddenly find her sick or put mattie at any kind of risk."

"of course."

"i feel like a freak," paul said. "i feel like a monster. like i'm taking a puppy to the vet to make sure the pedigree is all right."

cam came around the counter and reached for the baby. she gave her hands a clap, grinned at him and went to him willingly. "don't feel that way. it's for her safety and yours. i'll make sure she's up to date on shots, checkups, all that stuff."

paul just shook his head. "i've never been around a child so sweet natured. i'm afraid the other shoe's going to drop and she's going to start screaming her head off. since i first met her this morning, she's done nothing but smile and coo."

"isn't that nice? how's vanni doing with the news?" mel asked.

"i kind of dumped this on her. i was afraid to call her, so i just brought hannah home. vanni's in shock. we just barely started trying for one of our own."

"oh, boy," cam said. "speaking as one who hasn't slept through the night since julia and justin were born in june, i can imagine her hesitancy."

"yeah, she pretty much wants me dead right now." he rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. "but what was i gonna do? do you say no thank-you to a living, breathing, beautiful human being who needs a home? do you say, shove her in a foster home while i think it over?" he shook his head. "this might not be the most convenient thing, but i couldn't do that."

"thank god it was you and not me," cameron said. "if i brought another child home to abby and newborn twins, i would be dead." he jiggled the baby. "come on, little girl. let's look you over." he reached for the envelope that held her medical records. "i won't be long." he took hannah to an exam room.

when cam was not in the room, mel took a chance. "it's none of my business, but have you been in touch with the mother all this time?"

"not a word," paul said, shaking his head. "last time i saw her, she was four months pregnant and crying. she'd tried to trip me up and cameron set us up with a doctor in grants pass to do an ultrasound that showed she was about a month more pregnant than i was around for. she was miserable, so sorry she'd done that to me. you know, i thought about checking on her to make sure she was okay. i thought that would be the kind thing to do, but i didn't want to set up any kind of expectations."

"i guess you didn't need to," mel said.

"i told her to get in touch if she ever needed anything. i didn't exactly mean something like this."

"are you planning to keep her, paul?"

"what am i going to do? give her away? vanni's thinking about it. i guess if it just won't work for us, i'll get the lawyer's help to find a loving family for her. but mel, when someone has enough faith in you to entrust you with their child, do you do that?"

"maybe the larger question is, does anyone have the right to leave you a child to raise without talking to you about it first?"

"she didn't think it would happen," he said. "it was a car accident. she was just being cautious. getting her legal ducks in a row. you gotta give her some credit for that."

"but still...don't be too hard on vanessa. i'm assuming she never even met the woman." paul shook his head. "lord, what a huge undertaking."

"and then again, just one more. one that actually needs us right now."

"can i give you some advice?" mel asked.

"shoot. i'm wide-open."

"this is your marriage, your family. be absolutely sure you're both of like mind. kids put a strain on the happiest of marriages, and if it's one that came to you in a real unconventional way, you don't want any bitterness about the whole affair. i mean, you could be unhappy if vanessa just can't take her on, she could be bitter if she takes her on because you want it so much. think about some counseling before you make a final decision."

"that's probably a good idea," he agreed. "i'll bring that up with vanni."

"it wouldn't hurt to show her a lot of appreciation for even considering taking in an old girlfriend's child."

"sure. of course. and, mel? this is awkward, but there being no drugstore in virgin river...would you happen to have condoms on hand?"

she frowned and tilted her head. "condoms?"

his face took on a red stain. "you pulled vanni's iud, right? she told me if i get her pregnant on top of all this, she can't be responsible for her actions."

"oh!" mel laughed. "sure, i'll fix you up. but for future reference, connie keeps some under the counter at the corner store." mel went to the cabinet where she kept supplies like prenatal vitamins and brought out a box of a dozen. she handed them to paul. "may the force be with you."

"the odds are pretty good, i'm not going to be invited to use these for a while."

eight

paul delivered his bids and noah was impressed with the detail. noah thought about it for a while and then conceded that paul was right about having his crews do the bulk of the heavy work in the church. noah's job was to pick out the flooring and type of ceiling he wanted for the basement, plus paint for all the remaining walls. there was still plenty that needed his hand-painting the two offices, buying appliances for the church kitchen, arranging for the delivery and installation of pews, not to mention receiving and moving in his personal shipment, which included books and an old piano.

before paul left the bids with him, he said, "noah, you're actually a counselor, aren't you? like a real one?"

"a real one?" noah asked.

"i mean, you're not just a minister, but a-ah, hell, what i mean is, we're not religious people. you know? i pray all the time, but i'm looking for something practical. like marriage counseling. you know what i mean?"

noah smiled. "i can manage that, paul. need a little help?"

"i do," he said, and then he explained, from the beginning, the situation with himself, terri bradford, his wife-and the will.

"whoa," noah said. "things a little upside down at your house?" he asked.

paul shook his head dismally. "we should have some help. there's some ph.d. over in grace valley who does counseling, there's always mel, who isn't a real counselor but she sure is smart and helpful. and maybe there's you. but, noah, meaning no disrespect-i don't want to pray my way through this. i want to get vanni and me what we need."

"no offense taken," noah said. "i'm all-purpose. let's set up a time."

in order to be prepared for when paul had his work done, noah had to go about the business of choosing additional items for the church. he admitted his obvious limitations and asked ellie to help him with the selections. they spent days driving from fortuna to eureka and even to redding, shopping and buying.

there was a lot of time for talk while driving and over lunch. he was relieved to learn that arnie hadn't given her any more trouble over the saturday visits, but was disappointed that she had so little concrete information about arnie. "he said he grew up in southern california, went to high school and college there, that his parents are dead and that he came here from a big private school in arizona. i saw his framed diplomas, but i can't remember the names of the schools."

"i'm suspicious of him, ellie. of his past. i looked him up on the computer, but i can't find anything on him. i'll have to think about where to look next."

ellie did have news that brought him great peace of mind. she had called brie valenzuela. "she's going to look into this custody thing and see if anything can be done. i love that woman! when i told her what had happened, she was really pissed off! i told her i'd pay her somehow, but she said i could take my good old time about it-she believed i was good for it. and she promised to discount her time for me because i'm struggling right now. she said going against judges' decisions is dicey. i guess it makes them pissy."

noah laughed. "does it now?"

"she's going to call child welfare services and have them visit arnie. she knows a couple of people there she's worked with before. they'll take a closer look at the way arnie's taking care of the kids. but on paper it might not look like he's a bad parent. you know-taking away privileges when they misbehave, giving them chores, that kind of thing. the thing they won't understand is that the kids don't really misbehave. i know i sound real biased, but they're awful good kids."

noah knew all about this sort of thing. his father looked good on paper. how can a report show the contempt in a parent's features? the narrowness of the eyes when he calls you stupid? the sheer glee on his face when he can cancel something like summer camp because you didn't curl the garden hose up right? and his father was one of the greatest men of god known in the midwest. kindness, humility and devotion should have been starched into his bones, but he was arrogant and cruel. how does that happen?